...god

a decade of my life will have gone by and the only real thing ill have to show for it is my loneliness. having been in this tiny house in the country for almost 10 years with just a miniscule amount of human contact compared to the other years. god knows ive tried to show something for it.

i feel like a 90 year old woman who has been in the same house for 50 years and lost everything in between. the amount of loneliness that i feel is completely indescribable. its affecting everything in my life. sometimes i feel as if nothing will make me content or happy. anybody else i know has a person in the house with them for most of the day. people would break down if they were this alone. nobody understands because everybody i know has someone with them at home.

i dont know what else to say. i feel like im homeless...but homeless in my mind. alone. its spilling out into reality.