I went back to AA again ...got talking to one women she was nice got a hug
i feel like i should destroy myself av not drank in 1 and half years
but am feeling tempted thats why av went back
but something scared me my birth name i dont use because i find it triggering
as i was leaving a guy who was in the meeting called me by my birth name
not used that name for a long time only person who calls me that is my mother
and i hate it
i dont know who this person is but my new name is nothing like my old name
apart from it staring with the same letter

going to other meetings as well on a Monday and Wednesday
i could go everyday ...but my husband cant take me to them everyday as he dont want the running about and i cant leave the house by myself
going to print out some 12 step prayers and serenity prayer , The Lords prayer and the st Frances prayer
going to put them in a book that am going to take with every where i go just in case i need it
maybe i should write them out instead of printing it