So this came up for me this morning, a memory of my parents and brothers making fun of me as a child for talking a lot. They used to make this hand gesture to tell me to shut up, or they would tell me to shut up because I talked a lot.

Instead of being kind and finding some way to NOT kill my self esteem and make me afraid to talk, they were more concerned with shutting me up. So I grew into an adult who is afraid to speak because she's afraid that no one cares about her opinion or what she has to say.

Thinking about it today I know there were millions of ways for them to teach me to be quiet or give others there turn to speak without making me, the child, feel like ****.

I'm trying to do positive self talk to teach myself now that my opinion and what I have to say does matter. But it's hard to fight against what has been imprinted upon me.

Seesaw