Its very hard to find people that accept you as you are and ill admit the reason i am so afraid and so self conscious is I have become used to being judged and feeling like I have to moderate how I act. However, there is this one friend who has always accepted me as I am and I have started to feel like maybe my flaws are okay and maybe people won't be pointing them out. Maybe I won't always feel like I have to hide who I am and apologize for everything that I am. It actually saddens me that I haven't known more people in my life that were more accepting of me and it hurts. Like that is emotional abuse to me to feel like I have to restrict myself because there will always be something wrong with me mentally and physically that others will want me to change. To be honest it is all I ever think about and then when I start acting as they tell me I am. They say I am seeking out sympathy and then I just feel so lost and heartbroken in despair... If you get what I mean...