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Originally Posted by ennui.
honestly this is the kind of answer i predicted i would get.
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the simple fact is that i just can't love myself. i've tried and tried. everyone tells me to but no one can tell me how or why i should.
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whu should i love myself if nobody loves me?
obviously i don't deserve it.
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How does one "earn" the right to be loved? Loving someone is something you do freely not because they earned but because you choose to and it is something everyone deserves. Love is what keeps us strong. Whether or not anyone else chooses to love you, you should always love yourself.
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what does loving myself even mean?
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It means to be proud of who you are and feel unashamed of every part of your being - so that you can remain strong against insults and other "storms" you may come up against.
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i have always hated myself. i wouldn't know self-love if it slapped me in the face.
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I used to hate myself as well. I think that is a problem for most of us. It is not something that means there is something inherently wrong with you. It just means you have a lot of changes to make - and need to work on one at a time.
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and by making changes do you mean lose weight?
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If losing weight is something that is a huge issue to YOU (not anyone else) then yes...but it can mean other things too. Is there anything about your personality you do not like? Are there any habits you are ashamed of? Are there things you feel you ought to do but do not or vice versa? Any kinds of changes at all
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because i am already doing that. i starve myself and have lost 50 lbs.
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I am glad you are losing weight if that is something that will make you happy, but please do it in healthier ways than starvation...
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i just want to be loved as i am
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And that is precisely what you (and all of us) deserve - the cold truth though is this world doesn't always do what is "fair" or what we "deserve" - so the best we can do is be sure we also take care of ourselves the best we can. In this case that means self-love.
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but obviously a fat girl has to lose weight first and get a makeover before she can be loved.
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You are speaking to a fat girl - 225lbs 5'5" I know the drill, I understand the pain...but you need to be able to say "I don't care what you think of me - you don't deserve my time if you can't treat me with respect"
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everyone tells me in some way or other. "make the change" is subtle for "lose 100 lbs and then maybe someone will want you".
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If people tell you that meaning that - perhaps they have more serious changes they themselves need to make.