I can so relate to this. I spent a long time pushing people away, or trying to anyway. But some people are stubborn...and care too much it would seem. I have spent the last year or so mending various bridges though. I figured if they won't leave my life I should make the most of having them, knowing that that there are people that care so much that put up with my ********. I try to lean on them when I need to, which is ridiculously hard and still a work in progress I guess. But I know they are there when I need them. And I think that helps.