Yeah I think I see more now how if my childhood was repeated again, just as it was, I'd still get involved in "that" situation, I had no other option, no where else to go to be liked. I think I've been trying to change my childhood, trying to create a story that wasn't mind, which makes what happened feel even worse because I'm adding additional love which wasn't there then, coz if it was then I wouldnt have needed to try and get it in that dysfunctional mannor. If that makes sense.

Anyways thanks