Hi everyone thankyou for your kind words of support.

I struggle with meeting new people. It gets so bad that when i went into the same room as my newest therapist for the first time i shut down and curled up into a ball. I was in sheer panic mode and it was pathetic. I have such severe anxiety and it was so pathetic i'd never be able to go to see a doctor. I was forced to see the therapist and she wasn't in the room when i first sat down. Skype and phones are just the same im scared of talking to new people and that is a major thing fueling my depression. The anxiety disorder is fueling the depression and the depression is fueling the anxiety disorder.

I may not be getting much vitamin D tbh. I will give it a try and see if i feel better thankyou.

Each day i feel like enduring the constant sadness, loneliness, isolation and fear is harming my mental health. It chips away at me and exhausts me to breaking point. I find myself in very bad frames of mind often. I never tell anyone what breaking point looks like for me because if i ever dared i'd be locked up and hospitalized. I would not be able to cope in a hospital surrounded by new people, new environment and not being treated like a "sane" human being. That was my main reason for not seeking help from a doctor when i was capable to. Now it's got to the point where I cant even hold down a conversation with someone i dont know.