Quote:
Originally Posted by kecanoe
Healed, I've been where you are. For a lot of years. The only reason I didn't commit suicide was that I didn't think my youngest daughter could cope. I remember learning that I had panic attacks-I though that panic attacks included being scared to die. For me, I thought I was going to die but I welcomed it. I was jealous of people who died (actually I still am that sometimes).
I can't say that I want to live for myself, but I can say that the horrible wishing I was dead has gotten better.
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I was like that too - the
only thing that kept me alive back in 2009 was my son. He loved me SO much back then that I absolutely could not/would not take his beloved mommy away from him no matter how miserable I felt. It became too much hiding how I felt from him and so that's what sent me to pdoc finally. I had to get better so he wouldn't have to see my pain. It took awhile but I did start learning how to want to live for
me.