He knows the borderline of how I'm feeling. I don't hide my diagnoses from him but I also don't talk about them. Some things he just knows: She's cleaning, that's her anxiety going through the roof. or She doesn't want to go anywhere right now (nothing like her) must be her depression. and Well, she's kicking and screaming in her sleep, must be the PTSD.
I don't think he's really caught on to when I'm hallucinating. When I have an actual flashback, I can feel them coming, and I usually leave the room in case it gets too intense for me to handle and I get lost in it (which has happened before). He doesn't know how hurt I am because I just don't talk about it. What he knows now is all I can bare for him to know at the moment. I just can't let anyone know. It's weird and illogical for me not to talk about because I know I need to, but I just can't. It takes everything out of me to tell someone I'm just upset at the moment. I know that my fiance, while he doesn't know what I'm going through because he hasn't gone through it, he still listens and understands as much as he's capable. He really is a great guy but I can't see him upset. I won't.