My Support Forums - View Single Post - Am I demisexual or do I have a sexual disfunction?

shygirl2101 · Jun 05, 2016, 04:50 PM

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Hello shygirl2101: The Skeezyks doesn't really know anything about this, honestly. But I saw that no one had replied to your post, so I thought I would. There are certainly people who simply don't have any interest in sex. They're asexual. There are lots of videos on YouTube on this topic. Perhaps you're simply one of them. There's no obligation to be sexual if you're just not. Of course this does potentially have some impact on your future relationship prospects. So the question really is... is this something that is of concern to you? If so, then perhaps the best course of action would be to talk this through at some length with a therapist. Good luck!

Hi Skeezyks. Thank you for your reply. I’ve done my research on human sexuality. Asexuality is a spectrum and it covers a lot of labels. One of which is demisexuality.
Here’s a few links that I’ve stumbled upon for more information :

https://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual

http://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-demisexuality/

http://demisexuality.org/articles/could-i-be-demisexual/

And to answer your question: Yes, it would be a concern. I want to get married and have kids. But also I’m aware that sex is a pretty important for a lot of people, even though I don’t see it as such. In my opinion a good foundation for a relationship is how well you get along with that person and can openly communicate.

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If you want to use the term Demisexual, if having a word for how you feel helps, then so be it. You seem to fit the bill. In my opinion, you just have a conservative view of sex. No more no less. I think people analyze things way too much.
It is unfortunate you had those experiences in high school. Thankfully, adulthood should bring better interactions for you.
Are you a member of a church? I would think that would be a great place to meet someone like minded. Otherwise, it is enough to simply say to people that you have to take it very very slow and establish an emotional connection before a physical one.
Good Luck.

Hi April72. Thanks for the reply. I do have the tendency to over-think about stuff. But finding out about demisexuality made me feel more at ease, because it means it’s not an issue I have to solve. Also I realized that I don’t have to pressure myself to fit social expectations.
So I think it’s a positive label. I wouldn’t used it with other people, it’s only for me.
Church isn’t really a place I can meet people. For two reasons : 1. Orthodox Christianity isn’t as strict as Catholic Christianity and 2. Many young people these days become atheist.
I’ll try your advice. But sometimes I wish I was born 20-30 years ago, at least then I would fit in with my mindset. Dating would’ve been less complicated.

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I agree with April. One add on.. sexual harrassment is a form of sexual abuse. If stuff from then is still rolling around in your head and distressing you, maybe you should consider talking with a therapist who is knowledgable in trauma processing. Be Well.

Hi, Lost in the woods. Thanks for your reply.
I didn’t know that sexual harassment is a form of sexual abuse. It certainly didn’t occurred to me back in high school. I wouldn’t really say that it’s stuff that rolls around my mind every day. But it did have an effect on me. Until that time I always assumed that women were being raped because they were dressed provocatively. And after those experiences I realized it wasn’t so black and white. I started to be more careful around boys after that. But still I feel lucky that the experiences didn’t turn into something traumatic.