I can relate to the weekend loneliness. I am fearing that only unhealthy, risky behaviors are filling a void for me, and I want to learn how to be happy without relying on others. I felt lonely and let down this weekend. For the past few months, I've been seeing a guy who happens to have a lot of baggage. He broke plans last minute, which he did twice in a row (only recently), but it understandable based on where he's at in his life. Plus, he does have a kid. It's great being with him, and the feeling is mutual. However, as a single person without a child, I know I'll never come first, but we had a few intense months so far, and it's him who always said "you're the one who makes me happy, and it's you I want to be with." That may be true, but I know realistically there's so many obstacles.

To make a long story short, I think a lot of my manic behaviors make the situation worse: lots of money spent, risky sexual behavior early on, too many elaborate plans. I need to slow down. The Seroquel was increased: hopefully that could help, along with going back to therapy. I try to call friends just to talk to, spend time with family if possible, and read inspirational material online.

For you though, I hope this article helps. I think it can be helpful to so many people: