I don't blame you. I don't know how divorce works in all states, but I believe you are entitled to half of everything if you decided to leave him. And he should have to pay alimony. But I'm not saying you should divorce him, that is entirely up to you. I am saying you shouldn't be afraid to stand up for what you need and want out of fear of stability. He may need to be scared into hearing that he could lose you if he doesn't straighten up.