I agree with Bill3 and sophiesmom. This sounds incredibly stressful. It sounds like a lot of abuse being heaped on you and your children. If your husband is physically abusive towards them that is a concern. Growing up in a chaotic enviornment is not healthy for them. You tried counseling and speaking to you're husband. I think it's time to leave. I know it's not easy to up and leave. But for the health and welfare of you and your children I would consider it. You deserve to live in an environment free of abuse