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Old Jun 06, 2016, 12:14 AM
Th3reandback Th3reandback is offline
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Member Since: May 2016
Location: West Coast
Posts: 78
Just wondering what everyone's thoughts are about what separates these three.

When I had my first episode last year, it started with grandiose delusions that I was being called to do something. I thought I was a prophet of some sort. I was also very paranoid and thought people were out to get me.

As things got worse (ended up in jail for a few months) I was seeing faces/patterns in everything. On the walls, ect. Everything existed in the real world, but my brain perceived it in such a scary way. I thought the food was poisoned and I wouldn't eat it. I thought I was in a concentration camp. I was very aggressive and banged my head against a window and split it open. I tried escaping because I thought I needed to run to get out. I thought I was going to be raped, tortured, killed. Every voice or cry I heard from other inmates sounded like demons crying in the depths of hell, and it hurt me to an extent I couldn't explain. It was absolutely the most terrifying experience of my life.

At its worst, I thought small flakes were falling onto my back from the ceiling like snow, but each flake was laced with drugs to knock me out or kill me. I looked up at the ceiling and thought someone was up there yelling down to me as if it were the KKK and I was their prisoner. I was banging on the door, screaming, and going absolutely nuts. However, at some moments, when I really looked back up at the ceiling, in my head I knew it was just a ceiling and I couldn't see anybody up there.

My question is, was this psychosis? Mania induced psychosis? Or not psychosis at all? From what I read, psychotic features include that of a schizophrenic nature and to not make sense in the natural world. All of my paranoid, persecutory, and grandiose delusions had some type of reality connected with them, regardless if I was completely unaware of who I was or where I was, or completely insane for that matter. This all lasted about a month straight before I snapped out of it. What do you guys think about the difference between severe mania, delusional behavior and actual psychosis?
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