Reading y'all responses to this thread makes me feel a little less like a freak, but still alone. For me it started at 4. I remember one day watching something about the Jackson 5 and thinking that young Michael Jackson was cute. Then the next thing I know I felt something down there. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew it wasn't something anyone else was suppose to know. The feeling continued and led to sex dreams. In the dreams I was an adult standing in a field with my boyfriend. Next thing I know I'm looking at the sky and I had a good, but strange feeling. I didn't tell anyone that this was happening because I felt bad and ashamed. I never heard my friends talk about anything like that, so I thought it was a bad thing. One night when I was 5, I woke up and wanted to watch cartoons. Back in the 80's there were no 24 hour cartoon station. I was flipping through the channels and came across Cinemax. There was a dirty movie on. I got that strange feeling down there and liked what I saw. After that I woke up just about every night to watch Cinemax. By the time I was 6 I had desires to copy what I was seeing in the movies and that scared me so much that I didn't want to be around any male of any age without a woman around. I was afraid of what I might try to do. The feelings kept getting stronger and the dreams more detailed. My mother had "the talk" with me when I was 12. The dreams finally stopped, the desire went a way, and the constant strange feeling started to decrease. It all came back at 16 when I got my first boyfriend. I lost my virginity at 21. When I was 12 I had decided to wait for marriage, but once I realized that my now husband was the one I gave him my virginity. I masturbated for the first time at the age of 12. I discovered it by accident one day while playing in my covers.