First let me say I am sorry it has taken me so long to reply. Today was my birthday so I was not online til just now. Just wanted you to know I was not ignoring you.

Really - the best way to do it is to be able to find the "worth" in you, and the "good" in you. For me - I knew neither about myself when I started. So what was suggested to me was to think of something small I would like to do for myself, make plans to do it, and then do it. For example - if I wanted to play a game or read a book or watch a new movie...for the game I would need to save money to buy the game, buy it, play it; for reading the book i would need to save money to buy the book, buy it, shut off all phones and other devices that may disturb me while I am reading and then allow myself to enjoy my book for a few minutes; for a new movie save up the money for the movie and watch it ... Once you complete a goal, the next step is to stop and allow yourself to realize "I did it! I chose, planned, and completed a goal by myself - and enjoyed it! Life is wonderful to live. There are many things I can do - I am awesome!" Then figure out a new goal for yourself - as you get used to it the goals can get larger and you will want to start planning ones that require more and more responsibility as well. The more you do, the more confident you will feel and it will give you your sense of self-worth. From there you ask yourself "what things do I now (or have I in the past) like about myself?" Those are things you allow yourself to praise yourself for if they are things you currently posess if they are things you once were but now are not - plan out how to change so you can get those things back again. Then ask yourself "what do I not like about me?" Then go about resolving how to change each of those things into something you can be proud of one by one. As you successfully make each change - allow yourself to praise yourself and reward yourself. Always be kind to yourself, not harmful.

Yes to all three of those questions. For me though most of my relationships ended up in emotional or psychological abuse until I did learn to love myself. I think that's because I went through those kinds of abuse at home as a teen and so when I would get in long term relationships when the guy figured out I didn't have any self esteem or self respect he knew he could get whatever he wanted from me if he manipulated me "correctly". So even though I had the long term relationships they were not healthy ones. Having a healthy relationship is tremendously important if you truly want happiness and a relationship too. In order to do that you need to focus on getting in tune with yourself so you know when something "doesn't feel right" which is why the self love is so important.