T,

I'm sorry tonight didn't work out. But, I am very excited to share positive news with you later this week.

Yes, I got very stressed. I emailed you a few times more than usual. I posted online when I wanted to email you even more. (I'm forever grateful you suggested I look into the forums years ago. They are just what I need). I thought everything was going downhill. I thought I might end up on the couch permanently again, or worse. I cried a lot. I called my friend and debated life choices. I was a little more needy than I'd like to be, but I reached out.

I also reached out to a new friend. I was terrified to do that, as you know. I didn't want to open the floodgates and ruin that relationship. Yes, I sent her some needy and negative texts. But I don't think I ruined anything. She left me a voicemail, sent texts, and generally behaved as a friend would. I'm glad I reached out. It helped, and I was able to resist further emotional explosion.

I worked on being grateful, especially when times were tough. I was able to be proud of my small, and big, accomplishments.

I know things will still be hard. But I feel like I got through a tough couple of days better than I would have expected. I feel capable and confident. I feel like I will truly be ok, even when things are hard. I will need to remind myself of these feelings the next time things get hard (which very well may be tomorrow).

T, thank you for your text tonight. I know it was only related to scheduling, but I felt you caring. I am really looking forward to sharing with you.

Thank you T.