Wow.

You survived a terrible trauma, and then you survived a reaction to that trauma. You're here and reaching out for help -- that's super. You are on a road whose length I cannot guess. Lean on your therapist and every support at your disposal.
PTSD and depression are powerful but can be fought.
Please keep posting, Desolatex.
RAINN.org
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My dog

mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.