Ok, this all started years ago after sitting in therapy for several months and I guess the counselor did not know what to do with me, so he comes up with "we need to get to the root" of the problem. Having absolutely no idea what he meant let alone there could be a "root" to whatever was ailing me..My parents were great. I had a wonderful childhood. So I prayed "light heartily" for whatever the root might be, to be revealedto me.

Well, some where down the line, memories of being in the neighbor's basement surfaced. I thought "holy cow" but I didn't say cow, anyway, I said out loud, "I was molested" . I couldn't not believe it. I was shattered.. I was angry at God for shining the light on this dark secret.

I don't know if my prayer was answered or I was just open to whatever memories that might surface. Anyway, I sense there is more. Something else happened. I very well might be l00% wrong. I mean, what else could there be? Isn't what I remembered enough??

So, I thought, since life has been rather quiet lately and I am not all stressed out and with all this "quiet" time, maybe I should pray about it. There seems to be something "just" not quite right. Something is going on inside and I want it to stop.

I am concerned if I do pray and some God awful thing surfaces, I again will be furious with God. I know! Nobody can answer this. Only I can. Just there are times when "adult" rational thinking flies right out the window and this childish behavior/thinking surfaces. And I don't want to turn my back on God again... but then maybe... an answered prayer might help?

Again.. I know! Nobody can really answer how I may react or what I might do. I am just getting this off my chest I guess. So my mind can rest and maybe have a productive day...

They say "the truth will set you free"... I think I am ready to be free.................................................................