Quote:
Originally Posted by will19
I have been going to churches for many years. It seems like within the last 20 - 30 years or so, I have never found a church that I really felt at home at. There were some good times in some of the churches I had been to, but nothing worth remembering. For some reason, I guess being single and having a mental illness of some kind; people just don't understand. It's like if you don't act like the rest of the fold, then just forget it. It's so sad that it has to be that way.
I have been afraid to leave the church because of having my only friend just drift away. He is a good friend, but there are lots of times that he could be better. He is very critical of me and cannot take any criticisms for himself. Also there are times when he can act inappropriately towards me - like making an advance at me. I don't care for those things at all.
So that's how it is. Thank you for replying.
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Hi Will, that sounds like a complicated situation. Did you ever try a Universal Unitarians church? Just trying to think of something you could feel part of, but I haven't tried that myself except for when I was in Debtor's Anonymous.
So, you don't need to comment on this but I'm amazed by a couple of things. One, he's in his 80s, and two he makes passes at you. I mean, wow. I can't even think of what to say except he sounds like a social butterfly, almost like my mother. (And then my mother is critical of everything I do, whether I call or not.)
But I know what it's like to have only one friend left on earth. I love my friend so much and I shudder at the thought of losing him, or him losing me. In fact I'm petrified of losing anyone except for those toxic neighbors I have. Even with poor relationships, I'm just so afraid.
I hope you'll find a good way to resolve the church situation. I can understand wanting to stay in that one for your friend.
One time I was telling someone about my difficulty making friends, and she said, do you smile? And I realized no I don't. I hardly ever smile. So maybe you could practice smiling, if that's difficult for you too. Smiling is still a huge issue for me. I can't do it, because I am constantly triggered. Back in my binge drinking days, I found that alcohol made me very relaxed and I could smile and laugh. But without alcohol I can't do those things. Still, I can't go back to drinking now.
Anyway, sorry to make this post so long. :/
I hope you'll find a way to be more sociable, and hopefully make more friends. Easier said than done. Wishing you excellent luck with these issues.