I was just recently diagnosed with BP II and at first I was ok with it because I always knew there was a chance due to family history of the illness. Just in the last few days I've felt angry and disappointed, thinking 'why me?' It's bad enough God chose me to be born with a birth defect and now he slaps me in the face with this. I seriously considered swallowing my bottle of Xanax on Friday night, hoping to not wake up the next day.