I am in my 40's and a constant dream theme I have is I am in high school or college. I usually am my age but am going back for a class for whatever reason. Sometimes I am taking a class over and am running late to a final without being prepared or have my homework. Sometimes I'm just talking with a old classmate and I feel embarrassed or self conscious about how I look now. I think this is weird because I used to be very concerned about my weight/appearance. I had a eating disorder back then and spent so much time/energy on my appearance. I always felt fat and had a hard time relaxing or enjoying myself if I was around other people.

Now I like to look nice but I spend minimal time on how I look. I really don't worry or feel self conscious about my weight like I used to. I can be around others and I don't sit there and obsess about how fat I look or feel.

I don't understand why it's mainly high school/college, why am I regressing to a really unhappy part of me I feel I've gotten over?