I'm turning 24 in about an hour. I'm terribly lonely so I decided to vent on this forum. I haven't been here for so long, and logging in again is bringing up some emotions. This forum has allowed me to vent and the people here have offered me support that I desperately needed so I'm a little emotional right now. I'm pretty apathetic about my birthday. It seems kind of pointless. Another year goes by and I continue to waste away. Ever since I started having symptoms of depression I have tried going through therapists, psychiatrists, and treatment centers. I have tried to go back to school and try to do things I am passionate about. I always wind up ****ing it up, though. It seems like I make a little bit of progress and then revert back to my depressive, anxious, reclusive self. I don't have much of a life and I'm pretty much recklessly abusing weed and alcohol now. Besides slowly killing myself, I'm just gonna try to find a new therapist and not miss too many appointments. I'm hoping my case manager can help me find the right kind of treatment. I just need to keep breathing and I suppose I'll find my way eventually. It does seem rather pointless, though. Well, here's to turning 24.