Yes I am one whole person now. all my alters have integrated \merged \became one with me. it happened naturally as each alters job, purpose reason for being created was no more they became one with me. it happened after many years of therapy and learning therapy techniques like grounding, breathing, learning how to handle my problems, memories and emotions rather than separating (dissociating) them away from me, ....

what was it like ... it was nothing like you see in movies where the movies have alters dying, screaming, going away. the best way to describe it is its a knowing \remembering\experiencing life and emotions..

think about a time when you were with your friends and your friend said something that made you remember something, or made you feel like laughing..

thats what it was like... instead of being afraid of thunder storms and dissociating I was able to think ... its only thunder, .... and use my breathing and staying present in the moment rather than dissociating.

when talking with people I could remember what we did together.

Im not saying it was all a piece of cake because I went from having no feelings, no memories (because they were dissociated, the psychological term for this is dissociative amnesia which is a normal part of having DID) to being able to feel a whole range of emotions. instead of hearing thunder and then becoming aware that I am sitting under a blanket (rainy's sense of agency) I would actually be feeling that anxiety to its fullest. total panic and it was up to me to feel that and control my behavior\reactions by breathing and accepting that at that moment it was ok to feel what I was feeling, and remain grounded in the present moment.

think about a time when you did something that was new to you. thats what it was like...having full range of emotions and feeling them and not having an alter suddenly take over was new ground. so yea theres an adjustment period. but my opinion it was and is well worth it.