to both of you. I'm so sorry. That's exactly why I don't want to have surgery. When I had weight loss surgery, that went wrong. I'm now fighting to maintain weight and my doctor will randomly talk about a feeding tube. I really don't need more issues to deal with. I have schizoaffective disorder, major depressive type. Panic disorder. I can't gain weight, no matter how much or what I eat. The pain is thrown on top. I just have this bad feeling that if I gave in and had back surgery, i would have complications to make life even harder. Everyone always tells me I'm fine when I have this feeling. Every time I've had this feeling, something majorly went wrong. Just like the night before my weight loss surgery at 22, I laid there beside the person I was dating at the time, and cried and begged him not to let me do it. He kept telling me I was just nervous. But everyone kept pushing me. I spent my recovery in a private ICU (intensive care unit) room across from the nurses station because I wasn't getting enough oxygen. I just know things will get worse if I have back surgery.

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