My eyes feel heavy. My hands look cold and dead. I'm seeing things and hearing things that I'm not sure are real. I'm wishing I were well. I'm wishing I could do something. But, I'm just stuck. I'm desperately screaming and wailing inside but when I open my mouth, only the mundane escapes.

My husband is still living with me. My husband is still alive while I am dead, while he is killing me. My husband has transformed into an arrogant asshole (or he has always been one). My husband is causing so much stress that I know I will disintegrate. I know I am collapsing. I am weak. I am about to shatter.