I'm sorry for what you went through. I can't say I even come close to understanding your pain in dealing with that. I can definitely relate to your feelings of intense loneliness. I feel the same way, anything that reminds me of love and relationships makes me terribly sad. It's because of my own weird psychological issues and self-destructive habits. I also like to think you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. I'm just not sure how you would get rid of the loneliness. If you ever find out, let me know. Loneliness is visceral. It feels as if it's sticking to your ribs and it seeps down deep within your soul, and sucks the life out of you.