I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. I already asked for my account to be deleted.

I've literally lost my mind to the point I do not know myself anymore; I have not ever been like this. Ever.

JD threatened legal action because I was so angry with him, and was also being a total crazy stalker toward both he and a female friend of his. So he had a right. I knew I was toeing the line. I have never, ever done anything like that. Ever. I am angry and hate-filled, and I don't care that I hurt him or upset him. Or that it is even taking me down; I've BEEN going down. I was going down before him; he was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I feel like my depression/whatever has been at a low simmer, just under boiling for probably 2 1/2 years, that I've been alright, sometimes just barely coping, but usually alright. But that there has always been an underlying desperation building up. And I've just ****ing blown, and the pieces of me are everywhere, and I can't pick them back up. I keep trying. Like, I was REALLY doing well yesterday, and all day today. But I snapped again.

It isn't him. He's just the last straw.

I've been sitting here for an hour, scrolling through my phone, trying to find someone I can call to talk to, to even bring me to the hospital, and there is literally no one. And I'm not calling an ambulance, because I know all of the medics in town. I'm stuck.

(Please don't reply to this thread any longer. The thread isn't helpful for anyone; it should be closed. Thanks.)