Over the last few months, I have felt the weight of financial struggle (picking and choosing what is most needed), family issues that were left unspoken but were persistent, and I could not stop the constant anxiety and panic attacks every hour. Inside my mind, I lost what little control I had as an adult and that no one cared, but once I spent time away from my folks, I realized it was simply in my mind. Though I did manage to resolve my inner turmoil about my father by having it out with him (our relationship has never been stable over the years), I know I need to call him tomorrow. He and I, at the end of it all, agreed we need to get myself back on even footing, and finally, become a father-daughter team.

I want to mention this:

I choked up a little from the emotional impact of my mother's words when she said, "Your room is so quiet. It feels strange; I miss the sound coming out of there. It doesn't feel right." during a phone call on the mental hospital's phone.

I thought about that the entire day and night. How awful if what I had done turned for the worst and it became a permanent outcome. I am so grateful that that was not the case.