I am totally overwhelmed with work, working to hard and too much, not sleeping, was feeling high, now feeling paranoid and weird and sad, and wanting to quit things and kick people out of my life. That is a way I know I am sick, is that I think through ejecting all kinds of people from my life for dubious reasons, and give them no credit for having to deal with me. But I don't feel safe. I don't feel safe around people, I always imagine everyone getting together behind my back and belittling me, and one day I catch them, and walk out, and they are sorry. Such an embarrassing thing to admit to, but a lot of that is going on. The good thing is that I am totally clean, no drinking, smoking, drugs, super clean diet, so I am feeling pretty clear within all this. I am even back on here, starting mood tracking again, reading about bipolar, and even got to the cushion for mediation the other day, so it's not all bad. I probably should just sleep.