Does your pdoc and T know you are feeling this way? How long has this been going on? It would be a good time to check in with your pdoc and T and see what changes can be made. You sound very depressed.

These feelings you have are the depression talking, not reality. In reality, you are amazing, awesome, and precious. Don't let the depression tell you otherwise by buying into the lies. Reach out to your doctors/professionals and support network for the support you need at this time. We're here for you, too, rooting for you!! :group hug:

P.S. If you are feeling like harming yourself or others, go to the ER immediately. We care about you.