I've been under a lot of stress since I started working in animal welfare it is very emotional but rewarding work. Maybe it's the stress from work I don't know. But I am obsessed with this person at my work I think about him all the time I don't see him very often thankfully I feel like that would only make it worse.

I am still with my long term boyfriend and our relationship is going well I think we could always make improvements but we are building a life together and I know he is the right person to spend my life with.

So I just don't understand why I keep thinking about someone else I feel like I am in love with this other person and I have only spoken to him at work. I know it's not real love it's the obsessed kind when you want something to be yours but you know in the long the run it isn't good for you. It just bothers me how good I feel when I think about this person like I'm high on adrenaline.

I want to stop and I wish I could paint him black :/ but I don't consciously make the choice to paint someone black or golden it just happens and right now this dude is shining the the damn sun on clear hot August day >