Oy yay! I dont even know why i want to answer this.. i have a history of suicidal tendencies. I think a different times i have felt different ways and also in the timeframe directly after and through healing each one, tend to go thru a lrg range to thougts and emotions... The one thing that has been a common thread for me through out them is lack of reason/ confusion. I strongly believe that " why did you decide to kill ur self/ why did you want to die?" Should be questiobs BANNED from immediate crisis eval. I have,always answred the same and it tends not to go over well with ER drs... my reponse..."i honestly dont know." And or " I am confused, I didnt hurt myself!!" Drs. REALLY HATE this. Lol. But they are over worked, over tired and alot of the time just burnt-out in general. They think im just trying to be difficult and avoid hospitization..but that is not the case. What they dont understand is that they are basically somewhat shockingly so Informing me that I just survived an SA Of COURSE I WANT TO BE HOSPITALIZED!!! Duh!... I generally then get asked a bunch more questions and a few times have been read back whatever barely concious statement was reported by the emts. In those cases ive learned to just say "yeah sure that" or "i guess.."... The weirdest was a dr. who waked in woke me up abruptly and lead with that question! Still very out of it and barely aware i was in the er, my resinsr was " what?, excuse me?, I dont know. I dont feel well and i think i need to sleep. I dont wanna talk now."... He got IRATE! Stormed out the room loudly exclaiming, i cant deal with her! She is refusing to cooperate! Find someone else to take over. I am not wasting my time on that b.s.!! Wtf??!! I dtill wonder to this day if he was even actually a dr?? But honestly, overall i just feel lucky. And sometimes irate that i am not functional, have no direction, or usefulness, but apparently te powers that be just arent done with me yet..just really wish they would provide me with the why..