Since this is like the 6th go around it has be exhausting and brain melting..... Can you both just take a break for X weeks or months whatever it will take to both have time to really decide if this relationship will survive and you both will be alive to enjoy it?

My husband and I hit a horrible place in our marriage about 5-6 years ago .. Basically the marriage was over. Neither of us had any money or place to go .. So we were just stuck in the same home. He moved into the guest room and we agreed that we should just be kind to each other and not even discuss our problems as it just wasn't helping matters..

Well about 3 months of a " breakup " while still under the same roof ,, we began to remember what we actually liked about each other ( We realized later we both were remembering).. Mind you we still didn't discuss anything... About month 5 we had both found some solid ground for ourselves mentally and we started talking about the reality of do we sell the house and go our own ways.. Or were we really ready to make things work.

Long story short , We forced ourselves to really take time, Months to actually stop trying to " fix us" .. We both just took time to work on ourselves.

I hope your able to find some middle ground ...

Ps your advice around here is always wonderful