Hi fellow seniors.
I've been away from psych central for quite awhile. I wonder how much of it has to do with me being a "high functional" person with bipolar. Because of that and the fact that I don't have much of a support group it's easy to ignore my need for support. None of my coworker's and most of my friends don't know of my diagnosis. It's when I'm having a rough time that I feel the aloneness and isolation of living with bipolar. I've recently relocated for a new job and to pursue a passion and dream of mine. After a week in my new place I found myself feeling exhausted and unmotivated. I sometimes feel like an imposter. At work I'm productive, energetic and positive and my friends find me easy to talk to and fun to be with. But no one sees me when I'm struggling. Sometimes I think it's just easier not being in a relationship. It's hard to imagine anyone being able to accept me living with this disorder. Easier to suffer alone and emerge back into the world when I'm better. I am so grateful for the people who love me but I've found that even long term friends feel helpless when I'm going through a rough time so it's easier to not burden them with it. Maybe reaching out to this online community will lessen my feelings of isolation and help me to be kinder and gentler with myself when I'm not able to act "normal." Because I'm not "normal." I'm living with a diagnosis that has it's challenges, whether I'm high functional or not. I'm hoping to feel better before starting my new job on Monday.