Unfortunately learning to care for one's self is not a one-time thing we learn and then we're good to go :-) I have found though that what I have learned on my own is worth more to me than what I got through osmosis (watching others around me or through reading). Look at it as an adventure and it might help you not feel so angry. My husband died in October and I'm trying to figure out how to care for myself for real again after 30+ years.