My first husband also changed after we agreed on an amicable solution. Some people go into a 'no holds barred' all out war, while others bend to the point of feeling broken. I bent, my ex got strong. I think they become stronger the weaker we seem.

If your parents can help you buy that home, wouldn't they be able to help you buy a different one? You may be thinking you want to own it because you have feelings of roots in it, but those roots are all wrapped up in your ex. and the dreams you two had. Sometimes, it is nice to be transplanted into fresh soil.

He might be wanting to drive you a bit batty. Find out your legal options for taking the children into a different home. You are right, you cannot leave unless it is legally safe to do so - but you can move furniture around in the house. Give him his own space, and you take your own. Move the bedrooms into boys/ girls if you can't just move you into a different room. Separate cupboards and fridge shelves. Do not cook for him, or do his laundry. You MUST release all responsibility of taking care of him. This is the same jerk that expected you to pretend everything was fine at the funeral.

Visually, and spiritually you must begin creating fresh views and surroundings in the home. You are trapped in a dead dream. Change the surroundings. Paint a room a color you like and he hates. Get his shtuff out of your bathroom. Make it appear that you are being fair though. "I gave him the big bedroom and took the small bath" - "Violet is a perfectly normal color to paint a living room".

Do NOT let the house go to a mess, and lay around crying in front of him. Do NOT trust that he isn't recording things with his phone or hacking into your personal things.