I would post the song I have become but it is a christian song which I think will perhaps will become an issue. I know that the song is written and performed by a very charismatic musician, but, I feel there are certain people who have a deeper connection to their creator and I feel like I am one of them. There are people appointed to the Lord.

It is entirely up to the Lord. For instance, if you believe in the Bible, you believe he hand picked twelve apostles who were ordinary men to mentor and teach. They received the Holy Spirit in a miraculous way.

I do not intend for this to become too spiritual and/or religious and I don't wish to debate. I guess I just need thoughts. I am stuck between believing the truth and disintegrating in a lost mind.

I am desparate. I need to feel God's hand. I need to move past the crippling hold that such fear and such awareness of insanity bring to my being and to my reality.

Please someone carry me. Tell me I am not insane. Tell me I am not mad. I feel fragile, like I could break in a word...like I could suspend time in an instant...like my life is mine to spend as I wish.