It's possible that the women who were saying that person was awful, how they had lost the love of their life, actually feel more like you do. But they were saying what they though they were supposed to say.

I know this is a very different thing, but it reminds me of how I feel like society expects pregnant women to be all glowing and happy and for new moms to be like, "Oh wow, every second with my newborn is the most amazing experience in the world!" I maybe wasn't so good at faking it, particularly because I had postpartum depression. I recall my mother in law saying I didn't seem as happy as I should be to be a new mom. (She understands me much better now.) And I felt the pressure to be like, "Yay, new baby!" when really I was exhausted, horribly depressed, having bad anxiety, etc.

Again, I know it's different, but it's like conforming to what society expects of you.