Thank you all!! I've been sorting this out today and trying to journal about it. It's a really "real" frozen kind of feeling, if that makes sense.

It is so very hard to make peace with the bad things, when the tv shuts off and I'm left sitting in the silent dark. Sorry for the dramA, but that is what it feels like.

I kept seeing a visual image of a Rubic's cube today and hearing that irritating clicking that it makes when you shift it around. It's like I have images, fragments of things and reactions to them. That's where I believe I'm stuck right now.

It seems to me that the events that piece themselves together in these fragments are like those colored squares and I'm trying to calculate how to get the color together. I get half of it and then the tv shuts off. If that makes sense. It's solid color, recall, in the top and then black in the bottom.

That sounds so way out there, but it is truly how I feel.

I feel more but don't know how to put it into words.

Thank you for hearing me!!

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