I did sleep about 5 hours.

I hear what you're saying on meds but I don't know that it's the answer. I don't like feeling sedated. I'm not sure I can keep this up though. So my options are to win or stop playing. If I stop playing I'm not following the inspiration I had. And call it connection with universal energy or whatever you want, it was real, is real, and I have to honor that. And somehow balance that with that I have no interest in my job right now. I could work on my numbers all day. I think I would have done better last night if I hadn't got into a rush. It was really irritating and I was hollering at myself at times about it. It gets confusing when I'm layering 5 layers on top of each other, to get to the numbers. There is a system. I have no doubt of that. I gained access to it while manic, but I still have the access because of how intense it was.

I'm rambling at this point and open to feedback and interpretation.