We're doing this the wrong way way round!

Once is month is a great plan, unless the thing I've been avoiding for three decades is less than two weeks away and you are my entire support network!

I say - we go intensive.

What if the day comes - I go on two weeks annual leave. I see you 3+ days a week for those two weeks. And for longer sessions. Those days would be structured about walking increasing distances too / from those sessions - like the old days Get lots of exercise in those first couple of weeks. Plus (and this is probably one of those things that show how little I understand psychotherapy) if we can deal with all the crap (and there will be a lot of it) that comes up in those first couple of weeks, maybe it will be like nipping it in the bud - and the following months may not spiral, or at least, be quite as hideous?

Theres no way Im going to be able verbalise this one. And my no touching thing buggers up the mind meld. So you're going to need to offer this one. Im sorry. Its one of those things. I can't ask. You know that right? Please can this be one of those times you get psychic? Eff it, why can't I ask. This could work. I know it could. Why do I have such a mental block about asking for anything? URGH. I mean, I know Im a handful, and it would be real stressful for you and hard work and .... Ok. Im definitely not asking.