I can see that you are struggling and I can tell you I have been in your shoes and it is hard. Your husband sounds like a good man, very understanding. You should not feel ashamed because you did not go with him to his family functions. Sometimes you need a break, some time for yourself. That is not wrong. There are many more positive and safe ways to release these feelings. I used to self-harm back in my teenage years so I know that it can become such a strong release that you don't think any other way can work. My friend showed me a that if I take a pillow (the ones filled with like cotton) and stab it with a knife it is such a release for me now. I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I will be thinking of you. I hope you feel better.
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Originally Posted by Jensitive22
I have run the gamete of emotions the last few days. Anger, hurt, resignation, anger again, defiance, and now just sad and defeated. It feels like my husband has moved on, life as usual, hoping I won't press this issue any further. He wanted to cuddle yesterday. He expected me to join him for two family events. i defied him and said no, then I was sick to my stomach afraid that he was going to be really angry with me when he came home. Nope. He just came through the door and told me about his day with his family. He is his usual attentive self which throws me off balance and makes me feel like I am in the wrong, that I have blown things out of proportion. I just want to scream. I want to cry, but I can't. So I cut. Haven't done this since last Fall. Got a little release, but my stomach hurts again because I feel ashamed and afraid. i don't want anybody to see it. Sorry for another post. You all must be getting so sick of hearing about this.
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