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Icare dixit · Jun 09, 2016, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

the only thing tough about dying is that 1 day all the things you love (music, tv shows) it will all be no more- and that's a difficult thought to process

Interesting.

I really don't care about things being no more, lost or things like that.

There are awful ways to die though. But I sometimes strongly (as in delusionally) believe I'll die and I don't know if it would be better to be more accepting of such fate then. Probably not. I don't think I mind suffering enough. That might be a good thing.

Some people fight longer than others when faced with death. I wonder why that is and maybe I'd give in sooner than most. But I don't think so.

Now that I thought about it some more, I don't think that's really fear of dying. Maybe even the opposite.

Possible trigger:

I don't even know whether I'd prefer suffering before I die or not. Overdosing on some meds is really, really awful.

But that I don't contemplate suicide much, being just sometimes in a state where I might do something impulsively, I think I really just don't mind suffering enough.

Somewhat paradoxically, I contemplate suicide only when I don't suffer. As it is now, I can't function without suffering and I can't function well with it.

That really makes me think how it might be pointless to continue.

But sudden death is fine by me.