I was all ready to deal with a situation at work. I practiced what I was going to say to my manager last night. I wrote down on a piece of paper the things the my T and I worked on in session so I would remember it all and get it all out without crying again. I was all set. I put on my power dress and my power jewelry. I practiced what I was going to say in the mirror. I was all set.

Then I went into work 2 hours early so that I could do my book orders and be all in place before my manager came in. (I am supposed to do my orders on thursday but I have found that if I come in friday morning before work I have all of thursday off ) So what happens? My boss comes in and lays a bunch of [censored] on me about how broke she is. How she can't pay her bills. How the company is top heavy with employees. How she is worried about payroll. All sorts of [censored] that I really shouldn't know or just plain don't want to know about how my manager and her got into an argument in her office and how she feels horrible and [censored]. Then I suggest that I don't send the order in that I was working on and she says I might as well because she is already totally [censored]. Then she starts crying about how she doesn't understand why the universe is doing this, she doesn't know what she has done to deserve this. All I can think of is the [censored] herbs I took off the shelf because they were 5 [censored] years old and she said to put them back. That is what sent me over the bend 2 weeks ago and got me crying in my manager's office. I wish I could have said to her that she is getting the short end of the stick because she isn't being honest with our customers or the people around her. But I couldn't. I sat there with a concerned look on my face and consoled her and tried to help her feel better. Then when the time came to talk to my manager I just couldn't bring myself to do it because I didn't want to ruin the good day she was having since she had such a bad day yesterday dealing with my boss. So now I am stuck with more [censored] stuck in my craw and no way to hack it out.

I wish I could have simply said "please don't talk to me about this." But I couldn't seem to get it out of my mouth. What came out is "it is ok." I am a [censored] liar because it isn't ok. It is not at all ok for her to talk about this stuff to me, laying this stuff on me like I am a junk bin to push her emotions in. And it isn't her fault because I never once said no. In fact I incouraged her with my gentle words and soft smile. ARGH!!!! I hate being a nice person.
Carrie