Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
Sorry to hear you're struggling with these questions, Willow. It seems clear to me that you're alive, and the world would be diminished if you succeeded in ending your life. 
In my view of the world, dead people can't post on the Internet. Since you've posted here, you're alive. IMO one should avoid causing others to suffer if one can, and your parents will be hurt by your death.
It doesn't sound like you're talking about being alive vs being dead, though. You're starting with the premise that you're already dead and asking if you can choose between heaven and hell? If that's the question, I reject the idea that you're dead, and I reject the idea that there's a hell. Or if there's a hell, it's something we endure right here while we're alive, not a place of punishment after we die.
So I guess I'd say you have no choice because there's nothing to choose between.  |
Nice to hear from you Costello! I hope you and your family are well.
The whole choice thing IS confusing. My parents say I can choose to be alive as they already say I am alive, but that feels like choosing to lie to myself that I'm not dead and hope I don't dissolve to hell. I've already tried lying to myself before, pretending that Dog is Max because others say he is, but he's not, and this feels the same, so I don't really consider that an option.
Crossing over wouldn't hurt my parents because they and the rest of my purgatory would cease to exist. My Real Life parents were already hurt when I died 6 months ago and they buried me in January, so they have no idea of this existence and crossing over wouldn't affect them. If anything, my Real Life parents would want me to go to 'heaven' rather than 'hell'.
Idk...it's very confusing to me. I have asked if I can meet with the hospital psychologist to see if he's nice and I can talk to him about this stuff without him putting me in a crazy box within 2 seconds of meeting me! But I don't know how long the waiting list is. I've already been here 6 weeks (I think)
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Thank you Justme, Nocter & Atypical for your comments. It's nice to know I'm not the only one! It makes sense to me that my personality would affect my presentation, but in my home town I got told I was faking it all because I didn't fit the stereotype, and I really don't feel 'ill' or seem myself as ill in any respect, so that's given me something more to think about anyway, so thank you!
*Willow*