This was true for me too. I most needed to overcome my infantile patterns when I sought treatment, but therapists did nothing but reinforce them.

I learned only later the role of language and non-verbal cues in enforcing social hierarchy in therapy. This dynamic unfolds in many/most relationships, but perhaps most present in therapy where providers employed many strategies--perhaps some unconscious ones--to maintain "authority." I also suspect --based on my reading-- that specific attitudes are embedded in how therapists are trained to talk to and view "the patient"

Two books come to mind: Gaslighting, The Double Whammy by Dorpat, which actually begins by citing some pop linguistic books like Deborah Tannen and Patricia Evans (Verbally Abusive Relationships) to illustrate words-as-hierarchy. This "professional" book only seems around these days at textbook prices.

I also enjoyed Dorothy Tennov's Psychotherapy, the Hazardous Cure, an (I think) overlooked consumer book which explores the subject of the relationship and power. This book was written against a backdrop of second-wave feminism, which I believe enhances it and think its issues would be equally applicable to men in therapy. Though out of print, this one seems readily available and inexpensive. Tennov is better known for her Love and Limerence.