i hope any of this will help you, i cant think straight right now but i can tell a story

i took a lot of drugs and reached a point where i could die or go to prison. i didnt like any so i was given a third, at that point yet unknown option. in a weeks time my parents took me to a hospital and i was similarly given olanzapine with poor knowledge of it. i gained a lot of weight due increased appetite and i slept all days. at that point i thought i was in some kind of afterlife, that im only alive because they are drugging my tap water and everyone is trying to get me to jail. i told my psychiatrist im pregnant with a dead baby and i have cancer and liver and kidney failure.

couple weeks later i was transferred to a better department and got a new psychiatrist. she is a person i can really talk to. i tried maybe 10 different APs before settling to 15mg olanzapine and fluphenazini dihydrochlorium. i can now function almost completely normally, the tiredness and appetite went away, so did most of my illusions.

i think my brains are kind of impaired but thats nothing compared to the normalcy the pills allow. i remember being drugged against my will, being told ill stay whether i want or not. my endless philosophical theories and all the dellusions. it gets better, with time they will find a combo of pills which will work for you

in my case i was told i did enough and am allowed to die now, but i didnt want to so we settled for this. i call it the afterlife but its slowly transforming to my own little heaven. try to make it as your mother says day to day. it will get better. your body needs time to accept all the pills