I tried, I really, really did. But every time I start to think I might be coming back up, I just get dragged back down again. Yesterday was kind of going ok, I was more edgy and irritable than depressed. I thought I could make today work, but one of my afternoon appointments was cancelled and I'm working through a chunk of free time right now. I wanted to keep busy so I wouldn't have time to think, but I'm not.

I'm overreacting about situations at work, and even more frustrated because my supervisor is out today, so I'm the senior employee today. I don't mind the status so much when it's coworkers coming to me for help with a report, or asking about how to proceed with something. But today there have been little things, things that are more managerial, in my mind anyway. And I don't want to be the one to do it, my supervisors know I don't want that kind of role here. But there isn't anyone else to do it today.

I feel like a burden to everyone. I'm dreading tonight because I don't want to see one of my clients who had to meet with someone else this week. I don't think he'll say anything with the intent of being mean, if anything he will joke about it. But I still feel bad, because I left early the other day because I was depressed. I feel like a huge burden on my boyfriend too. Every time he starts to sound down or says he's tired, I feel like it's my fault. I feel like he has to spend so much time and energy on me, and when something's wrong with him I just don't know what to do. I panic, I don't feel the energy to take care of him. Sometimes I really think I would be better off alone.